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Christmas Jokes

Q: What do you call an elf who sings?
A: a wrapper!

Funny how the year you stop believing in Santa is roughly the year you start getting socks and clothes for Christmas.

Q: Why is Christmas just like your job?
A: You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.

Q: Why is Santa so jolly?
A: Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.

Another helicopter tried to land in our garden today. I think we’re going to have to reduce our Christmas lights a bit.

Q: Why doesn't Santa have any kids?
A: He only comes once a year.

Q: Whats the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet?
A: The Christmas alphabet has Noel.

Q: What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?
A: Claustrophobic.

Q: Why the Christmas tree can't stand up?
A: It doesn't have legs.

What do you call an obnoxious reindeer?


"Lisa thanks her grandpa, ""Thank you Grandpa for the violin you gave me last year for Christmas.

I've never got such a brilliant gift!""

""Really?"" asks the surprised Grandpa.

Lisa says, ""Oh yeah - every time I start playing, mom gives me 2 dollars so I would stop!"""

Q: Why was Santa's little helper depressed?
A: Because he had low elf esteem.

Q: What do you call a can wearing a Christmas hat?
A: A Merry Can (American)

Q: What's the difference between snowmen and snowladies?
A: Snowballs.

Q: What nationality is Santa Claus?
A: North Polish.

"What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?

What do you call a kid who doesn't believe in Santa?
A rebel without a Claus.

Q: How does a Jew celebrate Christmas?
A: He installs a parking meter on the roof.

Q: What do you call Santa's helpers?
A: Subordinate clauses

One turkey asks another:

"Do you believe in life after Christmas?"